I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Randomize
