a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize