Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
