I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
