Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
