I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
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remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
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just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
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