What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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