I'm really into asian looking animals
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
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I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
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I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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