but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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