If i come over, it means nothing
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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