whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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