Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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