mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize