I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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