If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
he just fucked me for my cheese..
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
