Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
