In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize