I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
