i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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