So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
