Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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