um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
it glows. i had to have it.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
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whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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