I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
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