She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
