hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
