its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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