we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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