what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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