we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
