did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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