We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
