He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
