It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
