Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
