Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
