Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
