Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
