Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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