Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize