Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
