I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
