There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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