I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
NoShamevember. You game?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
