Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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