My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
found the other keg... it's in the tree
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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