I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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