so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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