What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Randomize
