I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Randomize
