it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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