This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
