Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
time to smoke my breakfast
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
