I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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