Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Randomize
