And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize