So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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