my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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