She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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