my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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