You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
