my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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