So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
