It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
