it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
