I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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