Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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