i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Who died my cat blue again?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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