i jhust puked up my retainher.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I just blew my weed a kiss
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
