i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
