I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize
