They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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