At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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