I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
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Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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