What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Randomize
