maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
